


Lifeline

by kisahawklin



Series: Supernatural Season 13 Tagathon [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort, Episode: s13e02 The Rising Son, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 06:01:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12451095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: Jack's POV again. This is getting to be a regular thing. I had this thought while I was driving today, and then someone posted on tumblr,I wonder how different the episode would’ve ended if it was Sam who walked in on Jack stabbing himselfand I just had to write this.





	Lifeline

Jack's relieved, honestly. Somehow knowing that Dean will kill him if he turns evil settles the unease inside him. 

He stares at his reflection in the mirror a long time, the cuts in the shirt and the blood that surrounds them. He bleeds, but he doesn't die. Maybe his death isn't tied to blood. Maybe it's tied to that other thing. The thing he can't control.

"Hey, Jack, how are you –"

Sam stops in the doorway when he gets a look at Jack's shirt.

"What happened?" Sam says, looking pained when he asks, "Did Dean…?"

He can't even get the words out. He knows, as Jack does, that Dean is capable of doing this to Jack, but he can't say it out loud. He can't make it real like that. Because Dean hasn't yet, so there's still hope that maybe Dean won't. Sam always has faith in the unlikeliest possibilities.

"No," Jack answers, and Sam's shoulders inch back down. "I did it to myself."

Sam's eyebrows raise now. "Why?"

Jack shrugs. "It feels like I should."

There is a deep sadness about Sam sometimes, and it occasionally centers around Jack. He hates that he makes Sam sad. "Don't hurt yourself, Jack."

"It doesn't hurt."

Sam squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. "It does. Just because something can't kill you doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It's not the physical part of it that's a problem, Jack."

"It's a problem?" Jack watches Sam carefully. Sometimes Sam reveals things about himself or Dean in between his words.

"Yeah," Sam says. "Yeah, it's called self-harm, and it's a problem. It's a coping mechanism, but it's not a good one. Do you feel like you should be punished?"

Jack nods. "I can't control myself."

Sam swallows, licking his lips and looking away from Jack for a minute before turning back, composed again. "You're only three days old, Jack. None of us even know what your powers are. Hurting yourself isn't a good way to figure that out. We can test them safely. You can practice and learn to control them. We'll help you."

There's something deeper than Sam's need to reassure Jack here. It has something to do with Sam himself, he thinks. "Dean won't like that."

Sam chuckles under his breath. "No, he won't. But Dean doesn't get to make all the decisions around here. We can start tomorrow, if you want."

"Yes," Jack says fervently. He wants to show Sam his gratitude but he doesn't know how. He's still learning how to communicate, and while the words are easy, the meanings behind them are hard, and none of that is as difficult as the language underneath the language, the one that lives in their bodies and faces. He uses the words, because at least he can give Sam that much. "Thank you."

"Thanks for saving us from Asmodeus," Sam says. "You made a good choice there. Keep making those and you'll convince even Dean."

Jack smiles. He doesn't think he will ever convince Dean, but he knows better than to say that to Sam's face.


End file.
